Picture yourself in a deep conversation with two people.

While you’re speaking, one of them pulls out a phone and starts typing. The other pulls out a notebook and begins writing.

Which of the two do you feel more connected to?

Even though both may be taking the same notes, the person who pulls out a notepad more clearly signals that you have their undivided attention.

What we do and what we signal are not the same thing.

Regularly inviting others to reflect on how they’ve experienced us allows us the opportunity to recalibrate how we’re perceived.