Posts Tagged ‘strategy’

141- Changing Minds

Whenever we find ourselves in a #disagreement , our default reaction is to try and convince the other by throwing more facts, reasons, or examples their way – hoping that one of them will stick.

But when the other person’s beliefs are deeply entrenched, this #strategy can have the opposite effect.

Just like a slingshot, pulling too hard in one direction will eventually create a whiplash sending the person’s opinion further in the opposite direction.

An alternative strategy is to look at the barriers that prevent the other from seeing your #perspective and see if you can remove those instead.

Removing the rubber band from that slingshot as you try to pull someone back into your way of thinking might be the more effective strategy.

140- Design De-escalation

When it comes to avoiding #conflict with strangers, a simple #strategy is to be curious. It’s tough to stay mad at someone when you’re curious about them. Even better, if you can hold onto that sense of #curiosity for long enough, life will naturally send you in opposite directions making conflict impossible.

But avoiding conflict with friends, partners and family can be more challenging. Trauma, triggers, and accumulated resentment can blindside us, especially when we find ourselves in relationships when we feel safe.

We stand our ground more, push back a little harder, and both sides develop the expectation for the other to “know better.”

But recurring conflict is detrimental for relationships. The key is to develop processes and methodologies that empower both parties to de-escalate so that conversation can continue.

After all, ending a conflict is not the same as resolving one.