17/365 – “When was the last time you were selfish and loved it?”
For the last ten days, I disappeared into the dust at burning man. Never before had I disconnected so entirely from my devices, friends, and routines.
Although it would have been possible to find internet at the burn, the time and energy cost was so high that I chose very quickly to place all urgencies, conversations, and projects on pause.
Like the straw that broke the camel’s back, I soon found myself incapable of making commitments to anyone but myself for the rest of the week, and it felt glorious. For that week, my body overruled all decisions that my mind tried to make. For once, I lived entirely in the present.
It didn’t come without costs. I let a couple of people down – overpromising and underdelivering – making commitments I didn’t feel like keeping when the time came.
Thankfully, Burning Man is a container that encourages this kind of exploration, and a heartfelt apology seems to be the best antidote.
Now, the work begins – reintegrating and rebalancing those lessons into everyday life.